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Piece of Mind
What are you feeling?
What do you see?
Lovely money or a loving family?
Look within and you will find
A place in your heart.
A piece of mind.
“Happiness is not something ready made.
It comes from your own actions.”
― Dalai Lama XIV
Posts: 340
Threads: 204
Joined: May 2013
awesome. reminds me of a smoke shop called piece of mind
calming poem for sure
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
--mark twain
Bunx
Posts: 8
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Joined: Jun 2013
Haha. Far out, man!
Thank you!
(07-08-2013, 10:54 AM)Bunx Wrote: awesome. reminds me of a smoke shop called piece of mind calming poem for sure
At least it's not peace of mind. That would be boring.
Posts: 8
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Joined: Jun 2013
Haha. Yeah. I don't know, I felt like going for a more abstract idea. Like, a metaphorical "piece" of mind, instead of just writing "peace of mind."
(07-08-2013, 11:11 AM)rowens Wrote: At least it's not peace of mind. That would be boring.
Posts: 280
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Hi RR,
For me, the poem was mostly cliche and feels more like 'tell' than 'show'. I needed some imaginative images to drag me in fully.
But of course, this is JMHO, to be used or discarded as you like.
Best,
LB
Posts: 5,057
Threads: 1,075
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(07-08-2013, 09:28 AM)Robbie Reaper Wrote: Piece of Mind
What are you feeling?
What do you see?
Lovely money or a loving family?
Look within and you will find
A place in your heart.
A piece of mind.
“Happiness is not something ready made.
It comes from your own actions.”
― Dalai Lama XIV
give more feedback elsewhere
