Fauxku Choo Choo (the play's the thing)

[Erthona]

.


your dear-john note
is in the dead letter bin
found wanting, with postage due

John Dear,
Massy-Ferguson* stole my heart
goodbye

*a maker of fine tractors and the like. ed


.

[ChristopherSea]

John Dear,
Massy-Ferguson* stole my heart
goodbye

I wanted to a tractor
but she was a backhoe
and ran around with hay-bailers

[Mopkins]

oh erthona you beat me to posting....



your dear-john note
is in the dead letter bin
found wanting, with postage due



Postage for letters would sell very fast
With our Queen Lizzie shown naked at last -
More interesting than a bejewelled bust
Is philatelical monarchial lust!




John Dear,
Massy-Ferguson* stole my heart
goodbye


Massy and weighty, my heart has become-
Since i got haemmeroids here on my bum.
Sitting on concrete will do it – how dumb
Was I for not listening to my Mum?


edit:
wow, chris beat me too - mod please delete this post if it's in the way.

[ChristopherSea]

oh erthona you beat me to posting....



your dear-john note
is in the dead letter bin
found wanting, with postage due



Postage for letters would sell very fast
With our Queen Lizzie shown naked at last -
More interesting than a bejewelled bust
Is philatelical monarchial lust!




John Dear,
Massy-Ferguson* stole my heart
goodbye


Massy and weighty, my heart has become-
Since i got haemmeroids here on my bum.
Sitting on concrete will do it – how dumb
Was I for not listening to my Mum?


edit:
wow, chris beat me too - mod please delete this post if it's in the way.

That's fine, your rhymes take longer to compose. You just gave folks multiple choices to jump in.

[Mopkins]

i liked yours... here's one:


I wanted to a tractor
but she was a backhoe
and ran around with hay-bailers



She was quite a good looking lady
Who drove all the young fellas crazy
A tractor, it smacked her,
She’s now an attractor
Of worms, as she's pushing up daisies.

[ChristopherSea]

She was quite a good looking lady
Who drove all the young fellas crazy
A tractor, it smacked her,
She’s now an attractor
Of worms, as she's pushing up daisies.

she smacked her children
left them home alone
they painted her lilies
on the living room wall

[Erthona]

Hey someone bumped my response out. Weren't no good. Butt...


She was quite a good looking lady
Who drove all the young fellas crazy
A tractor, it smacked her,
She’s now an attractor
Of worms, as she's pushing up daisies.

There once was a woman named Sadie
she was a very nice lady,
she had a big ass,
made it hard to pass,
her donkey was just too damn lazy.

---

Now onto:

she smacked her children
left them home alone
they painted her lilies
on the living room wall

He shot up smack,
his home too,
all from huffing
that nasty glue!

[ChristopherSea]

Hey someone bumped my response out. Weren't no good. Butt...


She was quite a good looking lady
Who drove all the young fellas crazy
A tractor, it smacked her,
She’s now an attractor
Of worms, as she's pushing up daisies.

There once was a woman named Sadie
she was a very nice lady,
she had a big ass,
made it hard to pass,
her donkey was just too damn lazy.

---

Now onto:

she smacked her children
left them home alone
they painted her lilies
on the living room wall

He shot up smack,
his home too,
all from huffing
that nasty glue!

Look up you dolt, you weren't bumped (not by me). Ya just bumped me arse!

---

Hey someone bumped my response out. Weren't no good. Butt...


She was quite a good looking lady
Who drove all the young fellas crazy
A tractor, it smacked her,
She’s now an attractor
Of worms, as she's pushing up daisies.

There once was a woman named Sadie
she was a very nice lady,
she had a big ass,
made it hard to pass,
her donkey was just too damn lazy.

---

Now onto:

she smacked her children
left them home alone
they painted her lilies
on the living room wall

He shot up smack,
his home too,
all from huffing
that nasty glue!

Look up you dolt, you weren't bumped (not by me). Ya just bumped me arse!

Thank you

[Erthona]

I did not
you drunken old sot.
you'd best do the lookin'
for I need not!

[ChristopherSea]

There once was a woman named Sadie
she was a very nice lady,
she had a big ass,
made it hard to pass,
her donkey was just too damn lazy.

I did not
you drunken old sot.
you'd best do the lookin'
for I need not!

He shot up smack,
his home too,
all from huffing
that nasty glue!


drunken old sot Sadie
shot herself in frustration
to responding to Dale's three

[Mopkins]

my you people are quick tonight...

There once was a woman named Sadie
she was a very nice lady,
she had a big ass,
made it hard to pass,
her donkey was just too damn lazy.



On the way to Bethlehem

I’m drunk, I’m a little bit wonky..
I hope I don’t fall off this donkey...
Joseph believed me
The lie – how it grieved me,
At least he won’t think that I’m shonky...



she smacked her children
left them home alone
they painted her lilies
on the living room wall



lillies living in a pot
precarious on wall
Lilly’s gone and smoked some pot
Watch the Lillies fall...




drunken old sot Sadie
shot herself in frustration
to responding to Dale's three


A drunken old sot, in frustration
profound, and with much reservation
gave in and drank tea-
then noted his pee
was no longer in fermentation.

[Erthona]

A drunken old sot, in frustration
profound, and with much reservation
gave in and drank tea-
then noted his pee
was no longer in fermentation.

I once was a drunken old sot,
I drank lots of beer, and smoked pot,
like drinking a fin,
don't know where I'd been,
and I'm thinking I'd rather as not!

[Mopkins]

I once was a drunken old sot,
I drank lots of beer, and smoked pot,
like drinking a fin,
don't know where I'd been,
and I'm thinking I'd rather as not!



I’d rather as not tell you why
On the bed with you I won’t lie-
Don’t know where you've been
And Its probably a sin...
Don’t bother unbuttoning your fly.

[Erthona]

I’d rather as not tell you why
On the bed with you I won’t lie-
Don’t know where you've been
And Its probably a sin...
Don’t bother unbuttoning your fly.



My fly I needn't unzip,
out the bottom of pants it'll slip,
though it gets around,
no need to frown,
still, if it gets stiff I will trip!

[Mopkins]

My fly I needn't unzip,
out the bottom of pants it'll slip,
though it gets around,
no need to frown,
still, if it gets stiff I will trip!



She frowned when he undid his zip
(there wasn’t much more than the tip)
But with joy she exclaimed
When it became inflamed
And downward her panties did slip

[Erthona]

She frowned when he undid his zip
(there wasn’t much more than the tip)
But with joy she exclaimed
When it became inflamed
And downward her panties did slip

I said with a grin and a frown,
there seems less up than down,
she had great breasts
for a man I guess,
the nips pointed straight to the ground.

[Mopkins]

I said with a grin and a frown,
there seems less up than down,
she had great breasts
for a man I guess,
the nips pointed straight to the ground.




My nipples now point to the ground,
My belly’s too big and too round-
Middle age spread!
Grey hairs on my head
And on other places abound.

[ChristopherSea]

My nipples now point to the ground,
My belly’s too big and too round-
Middle age spread!
Grey hairs on my head
And on other places abound.

those nipples are beacons
your tummy is a pillow
that spread, my cradle

[Mopkins]

those nipples are beacons
your tummy is a pillow
that spread, my cradle




I’ll pillow my head on your tum
With one hand I’ll fondle your bum
The other caressing
Your manhood impressing-
I hope you are up for some fun...

[Erthona]

.

I’ll pillow my head on your tum
With one hand I’ll fondle your bum
The other caressing
Your manhood impressing-
I hope you are up for some fun...

I hope that you're up for some fun,
cause I'll be caressing your bum,
your nips I am tweaking
even as I am speaking,
don't think about trying to run!

.