Fauxku Choo Choo (the play's the thing)

[Mopkins]

I've nosed through local librarians
but you’re emphatically hotter
in your new Google Glasses
let's research cyber lassie


The local library is small,
it’s near the community hall
in the shire office,
the books bought by profits
that the shire makes from us all.

[ChristopherSea]

The local library is small,
it’s near the community hall
in the shire office,
the books bought by profits
that the shire makes from us all.

Shire Library was the biggest in Hobbition,
with a small office, smoking room,
ample auditorium, huge cafeteria,
serving seven meals daily,
but had little room for unneeded books

[Magpie]

Shire Library was the biggest in Hobbition,
with a small office, smoking room,
ample auditorium, huge cafeteria,
serving seven meals daily,
but had little room for unneeded books

The hardest part of ProHobbotion
was how to spell the bloody word.
I attempted it daily, weakly
gave up, made friends with whiskey,
sang the blues on street coroners.

[ChristopherSea]

The hardest part of ProHobbotion
was how to spell the bloody word.
I attempted it daily, weakly
gave up, made friends with whiskey,
sang the blues on street coroners.

Hobnobbing with bloody coroners
was better than hanging with gory goblins.
I also preferred my women cold and blue
over those slimy green ones.

[Mopkins]

Hobnobbing with bloody coroners
was better than hanging with gory goblins.
I also preferred my women cold and blue
over those slimy green ones.


Cold and blue his woman was,
in the care of coroners.
A reason for her death was found,
she’s laid to rest in the church-ground.

[Keith]

Cold and blue his woman was,
in the care of coroners.
A reason for her death was found,
she’s laid to rest in the church-ground.

The egg was laid cold
crows play two step jazz
storks carry the coffin
Mama magpie second lines

[ChristopherSea]

The egg was laid cold
crows play two step jazz
storks carry the coffin
Mama magpie second lines

in coffin tin
of caustic lime
thousand year egg
black as crows and yours

[Mopkins]

in coffin tin
of caustic lime
thousand year egg
black as crows and yours

caustic soda
olive oil
essence of lime
on the boil
pour it into moulds
and cool
Soap-making
I learnt at school

[Mopkins]

caustic soda
olive oil
essence of lime
on the boil
pour it into moulds
and cool
Soap-making
I learnt at school


Lime jelly in the mould,
it’s been in the fridge, it’s cold.
Mix with custard, fruit and cake
a trifle is what I’ll make.

[ChristopherSea]

Lime jelly in the mould,
it’s been in the fridge, it’s cold.
Mix with custard, fruit and cake
a trifle is what I’ll make.

moldy lime and curdled cream
dried out cake, something green
that should not be-
recipe for the composter

[Mopkins]

moldy lime and curdled cream
dried out cake, something green
that should not be-
recipe for the composter

monster compost mound maturing
On the porch pumpkins are curing
Limes and lemons in the lounge-room
Outside climbing roses in bloom
Green apples and yellow pears
Figs and oranges to share.

[ChristopherSea]

monster compost mound maturing
On the porch pumpkins are curing
Limes and lemons in the lounge-room
Outside climbing roses in bloom
Green apples and yellow pears
Figs and oranges to share.

climbing mature monster mounds
that bloom with dusty roses,
their cured bananas in hand

[Mopkins]

climbing mature monster mounds
that bloom with dusty roses,
their cured bananas in hand


I used to check for monsters
underneath the bed-
maturity cured me.
(it was all just in my head.)

[ChristopherSea]

I used to check for monsters
underneath the bed-
maturity cured me.
(it was all just in my head.)

those women would have lived
if he had kept the monsters
out of his head
and beneath the bed

[Keith]

those women would have lived
if he had kept the monsters
out of his head
and beneath the bed

He kept some bits beneath
the nine arches
spat drips at passing trains
coughed echos on the brick

[ChristopherSea]

He kept some bits beneath
the nine arches
spat drips at passing trains
coughed echos on the brick

The butcher of Plainfield kept souvenirs
behind bricks, others in full view:
skulls on his bedposts,
lampshades made from skin,
a belt fashioned out of female nipples

[Mopkins]

The butcher of Plainfield kept souvenirs
behind bricks, others in full view:
skulls on his bedposts,
lampshades made from skin,
a belt fashioned out of female nipples



I’m out of touch with fashion-
all my clothes are souvenirs
from the eighties and the nineties,
I’ve been wearing them for years.

[ellajam]

I’m out of touch with fashion-
all my clothes are souvenirs
from the eighties and the nineties,
I’ve been wearing them for years.

souvenirs lose appeal
as heart claims the space
once filled with scent and touch

[Mopkins]

souvenirs lose appeal
as heart claims the space
once filled with scent and touch


A bottle filled with scent I have from a friend now dead
along with other souvenirs from the life she led.
Still she claims a space inside my heart as I recall
her scented hug at greeting, now the bottle’s on the wall.

[ChristopherSea]

A bottle filled with scent I have from a friend now dead
along with other souvenirs from the life she led.
Still she claims a space inside my heart as I recall
her scented hug at greeting, now the bottle’s on the wall.

I find her scent
in a bottle of scotch
filling the vaporous space
between cork and amber