Covered in Boils
#1
COVERED IN BOILS

Here, the flower, waiting for the inevitable fall:
does he not feel the warm hands of the gardener,
protecting him from the cold?
Here, pillars, waiting for the inevitable climbing,
clawing, gnawing of the vines -- pillars of white stone,
walls of grey stone, and reliefs of saints and roses:
do they not feel the skilled hands of the gardener,
cutting away the branches?
Here, the painted glass, waiting for the inevitable wind:
does she not feel the loving, longing eyes of the gardener,
watching her from the distance? learning from her pictures,
her wordless poetry, her gentle morning dance of light and color?
Does she ignore the gardener's concern,
ever present, ever careful?

Or is there only the whirlwind, the inevitable whirlwind:
the voice of God, hidden behind a spectacle of lightning
and a mystery play of the flood?
The whirlwind, he is soft. The whirlwind, he is a whisper.
The whirlwind, he is the opened eye, the empty heart,
and when he comes, so the circle will go,
so all the true concerns of the gardener, 
all the material memories locked behind the ragged cottage,
all these will be swept away, lost, then longed for and looked for again,
and his current business will be forgotten. 
Such is the voice of God. Such is the concern of the flower,
the pillars and walls, the painted glass, the eternal
yet not eternally young temple. Such is the plague,
the numbed motive.

Here I am, running, walking, limping,
all according to the black and yellow lanes of the modern road
coursing against the river, the high flying cloud
and the deep flowing spring, all leading unto the city,
unto the false astrolabe, the eternally shooting star,
the vision of absolute death. And who holds the gadfly's knife?
whose faith is it that treats even the ugliest flower,
the lowliest stone, the sharpest beam of blindness
as a revelation? who keeps to the hope of the void
as the love of the final, the fount of eternal youth?
Not I, I tell you, not this I
but the congregation, the temple's founders,
the fickle spirits of the gardener and his brothers,
his sisters, his wives and children,
his mothers and fathers--

So kill them all. Consult the prophets
and swim in the waters; reject the city
and run across the fields. What is faith
if it has grown rotten? Let the stained glass 
shiver and break. Remember, 
even the whirlwind will be absent:
if it wasn't, it wouldn't be. 
Such is the voice of God.
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#2
Not gonna get into the whole thing here, but I do think the
"gardener" metaphor is a bit trite (though certainly not as
overused as "shepherd"). And the last line summation
should be omitted. The body of the poem should be
modified to perform this task.
                                                                                                                a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions
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#3
Thanks for the time and responses! On the gardener -- I was referring to a part of the individual's being there, not a part of the holy trinity. The materialistic, world-oriented part, practically a hybrid between ego and id, spirit and appetite, soul and body: sort of like how the gardener character in Louise Gluck's The Wild Iris (I'm obsessed with that book, though at this point I'm somewhat stagnating: TANGENT know of any poets with big collections like that that have the same styles and concerns?) represents the more human voices of the garden.

I'm more wondering on how the poem as a whole impacted y'all, though: this style of writing, heck, this mode of thinking, is completely alien to me. All these weeks of puberty and doubting my academic path and general isolation and reading Louise Gluck and reviewing the Bible and rewatching Adventure Time have finally gotten to me, and now I'm not sure if this mess is even coherent, or at least memorable. Either way, I am sure of what I want to say with this, so even if this didn't make the right sense to you, I will find a way to fix this -- and I do agree that, whatever the point, the whole last stanza, not just that last line, does run rather dull. Again, thanks!
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#4
Yes, now I understand (and appreciate what I didn't quite "get").  Smile

I worship Glück's* unyielding intelligence.


*For anyone out there who's unfamiliar with her work, her compilation:
"Poems 1962-2012" can be had on Amazon for about $12 U.S. including shipping.
It's a "Must Have" for anyone attempting to write intelligent (or even, in my case, intelligent-sounding) poetry.
                                                                                                                a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions
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#5
Hum -- I suddenly wanna have this moved to serious. I'm a bit stumped as to how I should press on perfecting this.
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