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 Joined: May 2014
 
	
	
		Write a poem inspired by a relative. (a drunk uncle, a wise grandmother, a domineering father etc.)
 Bonus points for using the words "pen," "licorice," and/or "bicycle."
 
 *** a reminder that prompts are not rigid. Poems about fruitcake, slippers or nasal congestion will not be considered out of place.
 
 Go!
 
		
	 
	
	
	
		
	Posts: 894Threads: 176
 Joined: Jan 2021
 
	
	
		Good morning Tiger,
 I just noted that you posted this prompt in Poetry for Fun.  What I wrote is decidedly not "fun".  I don't want to spoil the mood, so I'm posting it in Miscellaneous.  I'll check more carefully in the future.
 
 TqB
 
		
	 
	
	
	
		
	Posts: 598Threads: 83
 Joined: Apr 2016
 
	
	
		The Third and Fourth Generation~Numbers 14:18
 
 
 Grandpa drove north in early summer,
 never calling ahead.
 He'd surprise us with late evening arrival,
 expecting dinner.
 Mom would make him another supper—
 that's how she was raised.
 
 His dad left him without any warning,
 when he was very young.
 His grandmother fed him without complaint—
 that's how she was raised.
 
 His grandfather's closest friend was opium.
 They bonded during the civil war
 over musket fire and a gangrenous leg
 that never fully healed.
 They swapped war stories in silence
 of the departed who wouldn't die.
 It vanished in 1906—
 pulled from the drug store's shelves.
 
 He wept to his wife too many times,
 and she told him, "Just go ahead
 and do it already."
 Grandpa found him the next morning
 after tending the chicken pen,
 hanging by his neck from a cross-beam in the barn.
 
 Grandpa would start wearing slippers
 the last week of August.
 My brother and I would wake unaware
 to a crisp, windy morning,
 mom's face left behind
 to tell us that he drove off during the night.
 
 That's how he raised us, with unsparing rod:
 grandfathers vanish, so don't ever care.
 
		
	 
	
	
	
		
	Posts: 1,187Threads: 250
 Joined: Nov 2015
 
	
	
		Calendar Detritus
 
 My calendar abounds in birthdays
 celebrating lives which also ended
 on specific dates now unremarked.
 
 Time, I think, to halt this automatic
 notice-taking other than perhaps
 for those I’m glad to have outlived.
 
 One in particular, good company
 at times but now as then become in his
 inimitable way, good absence.
 
 Non-practicing atheist 
		
	 
	
	
	
		
	Posts: 695Threads: 139
 Joined: Jun 2015
 
	
	
		I loved licorice Good and Plenty,and probably ate way too many.
 
 My teeth didn't think it was funny,
 and now I have hardly any.
 
		
	 
	
	
	
		
	Posts: 751Threads: 409
 Joined: May 2014
 
	
	
		5 Loves
 uncle Kev loved women
 
 ale
 cigarettes
 football
 
 and the Queen
 
 he surrendered three
 only to be stripped of another
 
 there's only Everton now
 
		
	 
	
	
	
		
	Posts: 598Threads: 83
 Joined: Apr 2016
 
	
	
		Sestina
 Grandma never baked her fruitcake
 once her children all left home. In slippers
 padding through the house, she sipped her coffee,
 humming opera verse from memory. Headaches
 came and went with memories, sniffles
 blamed on onions sliced for supper. Pennies
 
 once bought licorice—her penny
 jar sat full enough to stuff a fruitcake,
 sweet with artificial flavor. Sniffles
 came from having grandkids; slippers
 warmed her fevered feet. My mom got headaches
 frequently, so Grandpa brewed the coffee
 
 strong when I stayed over. Sips of coffee
 were a treat—her teaspoon held a penny.
 Sometimes, mother's mind got lost in headaches;
 she would say she always hated fruitcake.
 Shrinking down, she swam inside her slippers—
 thin as pens, she always had the sniffles.
 
 I'd pretend to get the sniffles,
 ask real sweet for Tylenol. The coffee
 kept me up with worries, loud as slippers
 slapping bare linoleum. A penny
 wouldn't pay for decent fruitcake—
 Grandpa's jabs gave dad a headache.
 
 Grandpa joked that we were headaches,
 feeding kids cost more than just a sniffle.
 Unemployed, my dad could not buy fruitcake.
 Every day brought Jeopardy and coffee,
 guessing Price is Right, but wrong by pennies.
 Grandma's lap was plush as Christmas slippers.
 
 Wheel of Fortune's word was slippers
 on the night we learned the headaches
 vanished. Mom gave Grandpa pennies,
 payment for our food and all the sniffles
 she'd been spared while we were sipping coffee,
 unaware she'd turned to fruitcake.
 
 Grandma's slippers dream where there's no sniffles.
 I cure all my headaches sipping coffee.
 I'd pay any penny for her Christmas fruitcake.
 
		
	 
	
	
	
		
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 Joined: Jan 2021
 
	
	
		 (08-26-2023, 12:11 AM)Lizzie Wrote:  The Third and Fourth GenerationHi Lizzie,
Just a note to say how much I enjoyed (and was impressed by) this poem.  I've re-read it many times, just to re-experience it.  Deserves to be workshopped if you're of a mind to do so.
Just one suggestion to start with, concerning the phrase "gangrenous leg/that never fully healed".  Gangrene would have been fatal (I think) had it persisted.  So I think something like "shattered leg" or something else would be more appropriate.
Marvellous details throughout and last lines are unforgettable.
TqB~Numbers 14:18
 
 
 Grandpa drove north in early summer,
 never calling ahead.
 He'd surprise us with late evening arrival,
 expecting dinner.
 Mom would make him another supper—
 that's how she was raised.
 
 His dad left him without any warning,
 when he was very young.
 His grandmother fed him without complaint—
 that's how she was raised.
 
 His grandfather's closest friend was opium.
 They bonded during the civil war
 over musket fire and a gangrenous leg
 that never fully healed.
 They swapped war stories in silence
 of the departed who wouldn't die.
 It vanished in 1906—
 pulled from the drug store's shelves.
 
 He wept to his wife too many times,
 and she told him, "Just go ahead
 and do it already."
 Grandpa found him the next morning
 after tending the chicken pen,
 hanging by his neck from a cross-beam in the barn.
 
 Grandpa would start wearing slippers
 the last week of August.
 My brother and I would wake unaware
 to a crisp, windy morning,
 mom's face left behind
 to tell us that he drove off during the night.
 
 That's how he raised us, with unsparing rod:
 grandfathers vanish, so don't ever care.
 
		
	 
	
	
	
		
	Posts: 598Threads: 83
 Joined: Apr 2016
 
	
	
		TqB: I will probably workshop it. I have a policy with myself that I don't put something in a workshop until I've let it settle for a least a week, so that I can see some of the flaws for myself and do some last minute tinkering. 
 You are probably right about the gangrene issue. Thanks for pointing that out.
 
		
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