Fauxku Choo Choo (the play's the thing)

[rayheinrich]

Ole father time had a mistress,
sometimes one for each solstice-
from winter he’d spring
for summer to sing-
equinoxes often disastrous


The father of time was perplex'ed,
The months had slipped place, she was vex'ed.
The fix she surmised,
Was to alphabetize;
Now it's April comes first, August next'ed.

[Quixilated]

The father of time was perplex'ed,
The months had slipped place, she was vex'ed.
The fix she surmised,
Was to alphabetize;
Now it's April comes first, August next'ed.

Time sketched a year hypothetical 
with months rearranged Alphabetical 
they tried hard to change 
but it caused them such pains 
they ended up all needing medical

[rayheinrich]

Time sketched a year hypothetical
with months rearranged Alphabetical
they tried hard to change
but it caused them such pains
they ended up all needing medical


The father of time loved her clocks,
Their voices, all ticks and rich tocs.
She had dials for the sun,
And a watery one,
And a primitive type that used rocks.

[Mark A Becker]

The father of time loved her clocks,
Their voices, all ticks and rich tocs.
She had dials for the sun,
And a watery one,
And a primitive type that used rocks.

Now, most of the months are in order,
well, at least the ones farther up north are-
yet try as we might,
something's not right!
They're upside down south of the border.

[rayheinrich]

Now, most of the months are in order,
well, at least the ones farther up north are-
yet try as we might,
something's not right!
They're upside down south of the border.


The complaints from down south were intense,
So Ms.Time decreed evermore hence:
That those months in the south
Would switch asshole for mouth
So their whither would now become whence.

Particularly liked rhyming "north are" with "order" and "border".
Makes it, beyond doubt, a true limerick.

[Mark A Becker]

The complaints from down south were intense,
So Ms.Time decreed evermore hence:
That those months in the south
Would switch asshole for mouth
So their whither would now become whence.

The months all began throwing fits;
everything comes with a twist-
two assholes each,
one that has teeth-
everyone now talking shit.

[Tiger the Lion]

The months all began throwing fits;
everything comes with a twist-
two assholes each,
one that has teeth-
everyone now talking shit.


October throws a shit fit
spits bits of pumpkin spice in the face
of a summery September

[Mark A Becker]

October throws a shit fit
spits bits of pumpkin spice in the face
of a summery September

Spring and Fall relent,
but Summer won't quit bitching.
Winter says, "chill out."

[Tiger the Lion]

Spring and Fall relent,
but Summer won't quit bitching.
Winter says, "chill out."


Winter's a bitch
he blocks her out 
with beer and football

[rayheinrich]

                Winter's a bitch
                he blocks her out
                with beer and football


                fall paces the stage
                blocked out last spring
                waiting for winter

[Tiger the Lion]

fall paces the stage
blocked out last spring
waiting for winter


summer gets the hook
autumn enters from stage right
wowing with colour

[rayheinrich]

  summer gets the hook
  autumn enters from stage right
  wowing with colour


  "All the world’s a stage", the actor said,
  "So I guess this is a stage squared?"
  "Get the hook", said the manager,
  "They have their exits..."

[Tiger the Lion]

"All the world’s a stage", the actor said,
  "So I guess this is a stage squared?"
  "Get the hook", said the manager,
  "They have their exits..."


method actor
walks off the earth--
stage left

[Quixilated]

method actor
walks off the earth--
stage left


Stage a rebellion
the earth is off kilter
what method is left
for those who would act

[rayheinrich]

Stage a rebellion
the earth is off kilter
what method is left
for those who would act


There was an old actor named Kilter,
Whose method on stage could bewilder.
He led with Shakespeare,
Ended up on his rear;
Only hams would do that for a guilder.

[Quixilated]

There was an old actor named Kilter,
Whose method on stage could bewilder.
He led with Shakespeare,
Ended up on his rear;
Only hams would do that for a guilder.


The Queen spent a day at the playhouse 
while the Knave rid her throne of a dormouse.
When Kilter fell down 
she laughed into her crown,
and the next day old Kilter was famous.

[rayheinrich]

The Queen spent a day at the playhouse
while the Knave rid her throne of a dormouse.
When Kilter fell down
she laughed into her crown,
and the next day old Kilter was famous.


Old Kilter took fame with aplomb
It was something he'd learned from his mom
A queen from afar
Who'd washed up on this shore
And eschewed her high status for calm

[Quixilated]

Old Kilter took fame with aplomb
It was something he'd learned from his mom
A queen from afar
Who'd washed up on this shore
And eschewed her high status for calm


A wizened woman weak and old  
asks Kilter to carry her heavy load
to pay him she yells
three magical spells 
now Kilter has three hoards of gold

[Wjames]

Old Kilter took fame with aplomb
It was something he'd learned from his mom
A queen from afar
Who'd washed up on this shore
And eschewed her high status for calm

The queen hired five strapping men
to scour the hills for cayenne,
her Saturday feast
meat, gravy and grease
left her sweating and panting, "amen".

edit - drat, Quix beat me to it!

A wizened woman weak and old
asks Kilter to carry her heavy load
to pay him she yells
three magical spells
now Kilter has three hoards of gold

Kilter's socks are embroidered with fur
and his pants are so soft they could purr,
he knows the best wine
and his nose sniffles thyme,
his cologne is organic couture.

[Quixilated]

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edit - drat, Quix beat me to it!

 It keeps happening.  
   
I was going to say that your cayenne rhyme wins hands down and we can just build off yours, but holy cats if you didn’t just go and whip another right out of thin air.  Perhaps you are the one with a bag full of magic spells…