Tanka?

[Tiger the Lion]

I think this is my first Tanka though I may have broken rules. 


Our fortress is grand;
its murderous moat yawns wide 
with death's dark water—
enemies exhaust themselves
debating how to breach it.

[Magpie]

It's good Paul. Don't have any crit to offer, it seems solid as it is. As regards rules I don't really see any specific requirements needed apart from a syllable/onji count (even that could be altered) and yours sticks to the 5-7-5-7-7. It doesn't feel forced, which is often the case when adhering to a syllable count, yours flows well.

I can vaguely remember getting into tanka a while back and trying to write some. I've found one on here that might be useful for the comments. Tanka 21st July

Cheers for the read

Mark