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A modest life
I have suffered, not greatly,
but modest little things
only. Not born during a raid,
orphaned at an early age,
nor grown to be cut down too soon,
but a life of a long afternoon,
at its end, tea in a set
laid out for friends not yet
fallen into a swoon,
and at night, a dog
whose face is in the moon.
Posts: 141
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(10 hours ago)busker Wrote: A modest life
I have suffered, not greatly,
but modest little things
only. Not born during a raid,
orphaned at an early age,
nor grown to be cut down too soon,
but a life of a long afternoon,
at its end, tea in a set
laid out for friends not yet
fallen into a swoon,
and at night, a dog
whose face is in the moon.
I would omit the article in "a long afternoon"
Lovely little poem, really precise
Posts: 1,365
Threads: 270
Joined: Nov 2015
(6 hours ago)matsunosuperfan Wrote: (10 hours ago)busker Wrote: A modest life
I have suffered, not greatly,
but modest little things
only. Not born during a raid,
orphaned at an early age,
nor grown to be cut down too soon,
but a life of a long afternoon,
at its end, tea in a set
laid out for friends not yet
fallen into a swoon,
and at night, a dog
whose face is in the moon.
I would omit the article in "a long afternoon"
Lovely little poem, really precise
Agree wholeheartedly - holds up a mirror, it does. Might consider changing one of the "a's" on that line to "the" or better.
Non-practicing atheist
