By Bluegrass

[Deor Ana Log]

Nestled in freckles,
my pocket eyes are green
Mom told me, some colors
Are made for reading
not changing 
words
but I can’t help it,
but slip over pebbles
 like how that river
makes an ocean
by the tune of bluegrass

I was 5 years old once
I took a knife and was
an etch in a cedar sapling
Now I drag my pinky
In those ridges until
My hands realize
the nickname only
dad remembers

In green I spent
A lifetime
Or 5 minutes
Truth is a heartbeat
because turning 6 feels like 
the end
and an escape
that will never
ask you when

[CRNDLSM]

Nestled in freckles, I like this openings sonics 

my pocket eyes are green 'pocket eyes' is new to me

Mom told me, some colors

Are made for reading

The rules of the run-on hurts here,

a joker, (ones that don’t land)

I am that pouring river

by the tune of bluegrass

As ambiguous as it seems to here, I like the title here instead of specifying the tune, since it's by a river (sort of)

At every year old awkward

A school picture

is etched by me

Paged, printed, pinned,

‘Dean: The Mirror’

is who I am

more than

I brush thumbs through

lawngreen

rest then the back and forth with and without punctuation is jarring

on 88 keys, humming,

just one more harmony

Truth, it beats like

-hearts, jazz sonatas- not bluegrass?

I hear it now:

aged-up interludes, 

oceans under sand

and an escape 

that will never end oceans under sand is interesting

I feel like the centered formatting helps the content, but it seems a bit too haphazard, the font size change in the last stanza might be too small (I had to zoom in). This is in mild so I just want to point out some thing that trip me up. 'i am dean the mirror' makes me think of all the personalities I juggle (like a joker?) I'm not just a business man but all these things that I like and would rather spend my time with. The music and the river

Hope this helps! Thanks for posting

[Deor Ana Log]

I updated this poem to make it much more effective

[CRNDLSM]

Nestled in freckles,
my pocket eyes are green
Mom told me, some colors
Are made for reading
not changing 
words it seems to want a larger break here
but I can’t help it, the repeat of but I think would work better without 'it' (weak pronoun)
but slip over pebbles
 like how that river did you mean to indent here? Give it some more space
makes an ocean
by the tune of bluegrass

I was 5 years old once
I took a knife and was
an etch in a cedar sapling
Now I drag my pinky
In those ridges until
My hands realize
the nickname only
dad remembers okay definitely much more effective this whole stanza

In green I spent
A lifetime
Or 5 minutes
Truth is a heartbeat
because turning 6 feels like 
the end
and an escape
that will never
ask you when

It's almost a different poem, might I ask why you abandoned the centered format? Just looks? This does read much better,