Between the pages of my heart

[Harryd]

She is a flower pressed between
the pages of my heart
and I cannot read the past
without her there.
A vibrancy replaced with memory,
cherished such fragility
though the scent no longer drifts
into the pores of my skin
the blood carries reminders,
keeps her happiness within.
I am quite aware
of why I fell in love
and still very much am
tied to the same old impossibility,
should she even care
to look, she would find the same hand
open without regard
for self or sanity if but to wake a smile
and paint a blush like a canopy
across a canvas so divine.
I realize such motives are outdated
and old fashioned in a time of need,
belief is but a crutch
for a dream that cannot be,
but I will never toss away this flower
pressed between the pages of my heart
for though the petals may have faded
she's twice as beautiful as even I once thought.
HD

[busker]

Hi Harry - as you’ve not posted it in the critical fora I’m not sure if you’re looking for feedback to improve this piece. But I’m providing some anyway.

I like the first four lines. The flower between pressed pages is a bit of a cliche at this point, but still works. The poem meanders thereafter. The metaphor of the heart as a book that you read is not sustained from there on and it becomes a jumble of other, disparate metaphors.

Thanks for posting

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My suggestion would be for you to stick to one metaphor and develop it.

[Harryd]

Hi Harry - as you’ve not posted it in the critical fora I’m not sure if you’re looking for feedback to improve this piece. But I’m providing some anyway.

I like the first four lines. The flower between pressed pages is a bit of a cliche at this point, but still works. The poem meanders thereafter. The metaphor of the heart as a book that you read is not sustained from there on and it becomes a jumble of other, disparate metaphors.

Thanks for posting

---

My suggestion would be for you to stick to one metaphor and develop it.

I dont have a certain writing style nor have I ever been taught. Im just grieving a past relationship and this helps me. Appreciate the critique as always.