Ash I Cross

[Deor Ana Log]

and through I glimpse                                  
there lies a wood
encroached in light
until the dawn

and moons do blow
one at a time
one, two, or five
into twilight

if loss be all
that life will cost
my youth be just
a road I crossed

to woods in snow,
saplings to ash
I am the road
lying so flat

[matsunosuperfan]

and through I glimpse                                  
there lies a wood
encroached in light
until the dawn

and moons do blow
one at a time
one, two, or five
into twilight

if loss be all
that life will cost
my youth be just
a road I crossed

to woods in snow,
saplings to ash
I am the road
lying so flat

Love the multiple moons that blow, a striking image. "encroached in light" is a toothy phrase I also enjoyed. 

The latter two stanzas fall a little flat for me. "If loss be all" feels so lugubrious, and the syntax is kinda dated. This is amplified by "my youth be just" -- subjunctive mood can feel ostentatious as it's rarely part of the contemporary vernacular as such. 

What if we try to make it a bit more directly discursive/conversational, for example: 

I crossed a road 
to woods in snow, saplings
turned to ash, 

and through a wood
encroached in light, moons
blow one at a time 

two or five 
into the twilight 
rounding into dawn. 

This life will cost 
another loss: youth
is just a road I crossed 

to woods in snow, saplings
to ash. I am the road 
laid flat.

[purplie]

and through I glimpse                                  
there lies a wood
encroached in light
until the dawn

and moons do blow
one at a time
one, two, or five
into twilight

if loss be all
that life will cost
my youth be just
a road I crossed

to woods in snow,
saplings to ash
I am the road
lying so flat

I don't understand it one bit, but I can feel that it's not empty, so I look forward to hearing others' comments.

I'm not sure whether 'encroached in light' is the best phrase or the worst. It's a lovely novel phrase, but I can't make sense of it in the context.

The rhyme in the third stanza made me stop and look around for other rhymes that weren't there. Is that intentional?

[Luckieman]

The first and second stanzas mean nothing to me (quite apart from trying unsuccsessfully to tease out meaning, I'm deeply worried by the grammar). The third and fourth stanzas stand alone as a interesting image (a poem in their own right?) but the clarity might be improved by some additional punctuation.