07-31-2012, 02:39 PM 
	
	
	
		It's not a bad stab at nonsense in a Learish vein, and demonstrates moderate facility with the associated tone and diction.  It is, however, of much greater length than its formal elements merit.  I'd add appropriate effects, or trim the flab (which would get it down to 4-5 stanzas).
Cheers,
-pk
	
	
	
Cheers,
-pk

 

 
