Alone in the dark

[billy]

hi Dale, great to see you back.

.

I faced my demons one by one, a little too cliche for a 1st line
saw them for what they were
and banished them with mental magic
until I came face to face with my own mortality. the stanza as a whole does work. i think, no i'm sure i've been in this place myself on more than one occasion.

Death and his side-kick panic feels a bit trite and a little unrealated, it could be solved by adding 'the thought of' at the beginning.
blew through my pop-pseudo-psychology
like an eighteen wheeler blows through summertime
mirages out on hwy 180 between Hobbs and Seagraves
where my dad would drive from home to work and back. a long sentence when used without any grammar
He worked at the chemical plant where the “Mexicans”
—sitting among waves of heat rising off concrete—
made a lunch of hot black coffee and jalapenos. great image

It wasn’t suppose to happen the way it did,
she was suppose to be there to support him
when he had his first heart attack
and keep him alive until Denton Cooley
learned to do cardiopulmonary bypass surgery,
by stealing from the leg and giving to the heart. I think the stanza needs to allow the reader little respite. a god stanza nonetheless

She wasn’t suppose to die supposed
having a meaningless and unneeded hysterectomy.
I couldn’t help him, I was only five.
What did I know of the panic that gripped him every night one panic too many
lying there alone trying to sleep and seeing his own death staring back.
Emotional raw meat wondering at every chest muscle twinge
if this was it, but was too John Wayne tough to ever admit being afraid. pretty palpable stuff

Today, I have an intimate relationship with death and panic,third panic
waking up from an asthma attack in the dark of night
feeling like I am drowning and wondering
if I will ever catch my next breath.
Knowing makes me no more able to help him then,
than I am able to help myself now. no nits

He needed her and her optimism,
the “everything’s going to be all right” mantra,
but she died out of time, drowning in her own fluids
due to an allergic reaction to magic ether juice.
So instead of being reconciled by her to a better reality
we were just two small helpless boys alone in the dark,
trying to make it until daybreak
when there would be enough distractions
to allow us to escape—for awhile—
the darkness in our minds. not sure this lines needed or adds to the poem

©2012 –Erthona

an emotional ride. full of depth and feeling. some good insights, some great images. apart from three panics and a couple of death's i have nothing more than a few nits to show.

i really can identify with the poem, whether factual or not it has truth in it. the title works more than well and sort of acts as aq hook, i went back to it and thought about it (the title) really good write.

thanks for the read.