12-11-2012, 11:12 PM
Her beauty stood pale against the cold dead grey
His presence looming ever closer
His huge expanse besieged her
Casting hope into silhouette
I told you did I not
His venomous lips spit as he spoke
With frost bitten hands he gripped at her throat
I am your great castigator
A malignant instrument set from on high
Not even heaven can turn my chiding eye
I swear it now you will die
But as he spit and raged her slender beauty stood poised
Her hope seemed viscous
Even as he squeezed tighter
Draining the last of the air from her life giving lungs
She knew that after all this death would come life
So with elegant grace she gave up the fight
And the world watched on in silence to the death of a flower
this is is my revision on my revised revision.2nd edit
His presence looming ever closer
His huge expanse besieged her
Casting hope into silhouette
I told you did I not
His venomous lips spit as he spoke
With frost bitten hands he gripped at her throat
I am your great castigator
A malignant instrument set from on high
Not even heaven can turn my chiding eye
I swear it now you will die
But as he spit and raged her slender beauty stood poised
Her hope seemed viscous
Even as he squeezed tighter
Draining the last of the air from her life giving lungs
She knew that after all this death would come life
So with elegant grace she gave up the fight
And the world watched on in silence to the death of a flower
this is is my revision on my revised revision.2nd edit
Quote:This is my re-do. Thanks again for the help Todd.
Her beauty, pale against the cold dead grey
1st edit
Onset Of Wineter
His bitter expanse surrounded her
Setting hope in silhouette
I told you did I not
His venomous lips spit as he spoke
With frost bitten hands he gripped at her throat
I am your great castigator
A malignant instrument
Not even heaven can turn my chiding eye
I swear it now you will die
Slender, her beauty stood poised
Her hope seemed viscous
His grip tightened
Just seconds now
And the world watched on in silence to the death of a flower
Quote: Original:
The Onset of Winter
Her beauty stood pale against the cold dead grey
She could feel his presence drawing ever closer
His huge expanse surrounded her
Setting her delicateness in absolute shadow
I told you did I not
His cold dead lips spit as he spoke
With frost bitten hands he gripped at her throat
I am your great castigator
A deathly instrument sent to rip you violently from your place
Not even your beauty will bring tear to my cold dead eye
I swear it now you will die
But as he spit and raged her slender beauty stood poised
Loving and defiant, her hope seemed viscous
Even as he squeezed tighter
Draining the last of the air from her life giving lungs
She knew that after all this death would come life
So with elegant grace she gave up the fight
And the world watched on in silence to the death of a flower