01-31-2013, 11:01 PM
Oh wow, I really like this poem. It's got a sort of haiku feel to it, but it's more fleshed out. I like the second stanza especially. A very nice link to the move too. I'm still really tired, not being able to get a nap in. Sucks. Anyways, here's my move and poem.
12am-4am
Qe4
It's the last train.
An empty vessel
Steaming through,
Speeding past
The frozen world.
I can't move.
Icy breath
My life sign.
Watched it pass;
The last action
Of the night.
The final sound
Still echoes.
Apathetic,
Or a little
Depressed.
Reality
A standstill,
I own this void.
Let the moon
Swallow me.
----------------------------
Seems like a tired mind goes to the abstract huh.
12am-4am
Qe4
It's the last train.
An empty vessel
Steaming through,
Speeding past
The frozen world.
I can't move.
Icy breath
My life sign.
Watched it pass;
The last action
Of the night.
The final sound
Still echoes.
Apathetic,
Or a little
Depressed.
Reality
A standstill,
I own this void.
Let the moon
Swallow me.
----------------------------
Seems like a tired mind goes to the abstract huh.
Back!