02-05-2013, 07:04 AM
Heh great poem!
I particularly like how "while forking slabs of chicken
dipped in apple sauce." Sets the scene as some kind of unconcerned and slightly malicious outside viewer of other's pain. Great scene setting.
I don't have anything in terms of solid crit sorry, it sets a solid scene and says everything in a pretty and succinct package.
I particularly like how "while forking slabs of chicken
dipped in apple sauce." Sets the scene as some kind of unconcerned and slightly malicious outside viewer of other's pain. Great scene setting.
I don't have anything in terms of solid crit sorry, it sets a solid scene and says everything in a pretty and succinct package.
If something happens and you can remedy it, Why worry?
And if something happens that you can't remedy, Still why worry?
www.benjack.co.nz
And if something happens that you can't remedy, Still why worry?
www.benjack.co.nz