Where I must be...edit 2, trueenigma,edit 1. billy the cliche killer

[Truerenigma]

I need to be where buzzards broach the bosom bens,
cupped in white cotton kufi and pure as faith and prayer.
I need to feel the brittle breeze first numb my brow and then if the breeze is brittle, can we then snap it in two?
upon my cheek, high clicking sticks shed needles slick; this inversion destroys a beautiful line slick needles i get, needles slick? Yawn. it rhymes! That's amazing. Not really.
I feel no pricks,
just pine scent in the gloaming air.
Nice
I need to be where snow-swans slide on silver trays;
in leaf-dark shaded water, glass paned on sun-sweat days. Wew! It all 'sounds' good but as you even said yourself, it completely fails.
I need to drink fast streams that leach from bryophytic braes; ok getting out the dictionary, well not too bad but then I'm no botanist.
clear as poitin, peat-soft but strained through quartz and sand.
I sip the land,
as raindrops fling in Highland haze.
Nice image
I need to be where sea sobs shore...
Where wild hart roar…
Where stars are crushed…
Where nights are hushed…
Where air is made…
Where time will fade.
In other words any damn where?
I need to be
where I must be.
Where? Scottish highlands? But you said that already, why all the extra rhetoric?
Tectak
Sheildaig
2013

Hi true,
Thanks for all. You are twisting the knife that I stuck in myself with the slick prick stick click line. I will take another pot at it. What is you reference to unimpressed/marine biologists about? Do I need to know?
I may need to remove a line from the closers but when you write something in situ you take a personal risk of losing you own memory trigger....I am glad, though, that you deduced it was Scotland .What was it? Bens, highland, flings, lochs, braes.....?

Its a bit much but overall it's not too bad. It's easy to see from this that you're a good writer but its literary over done. Like a resume for a writers club, or a mycology group which makes it literary not that interesting to me. Literally. I'm not impressed that you can consult a marine biologist to find a rhyme. I am however, impressed with some of the imagery.
Keep at it.
Thank for sharing (to quote serge)

Highlands. Bosom bends was indecipherable to me..i was referring to the scientific terminology. Marine biologist was really the best term..