An April Stroll (second edit)

An April Stroll (second edit)

UnicornRainbowCake Offline

Senior Member

Posts: 134
Threads: 12
Joined: Mar 2013

04-13-2013, 07:28 AM

The first two lines work better but I'm not keep on the last line. It's no worse than your first edit's last line, but it's as if you crumble up your sandwich to some effect - that then isn't explained. Perhaps play around with it again? Smile

- Amy

(You wouldn't be surprised to know my parents did not christen me UnicornRainbowCake.)

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Messages In This Thread

An April Stroll (second edit) - by Volaticus - 04-11-2013, 09:15 AM

RE: An April Stroll - by UnicornRainbowCake - 04-12-2013, 08:51 AM

RE: An April Stroll - by Volaticus - 04-13-2013, 12:24 AM

RE: An April Stroll - by milo - 04-12-2013, 08:52 AM

RE: An April Stroll - by billy - 04-12-2013, 02:04 PM

RE: An April Stroll - by NakedBear - 04-12-2013, 02:07 PM

RE: An April Stroll - by billy - 04-12-2013, 02:13 PM

RE: An April Stroll (edited) - by Volaticus - 04-13-2013, 07:01 AM

RE: An April Stroll (edited) - by UnicornRainbowCake - 04-13-2013, 07:28 AM

RE: An April Stroll (edited) - by Volaticus - 04-13-2013, 07:44 AM

RE: An April Stroll (edited) - by justcloudy - 04-13-2013, 09:04 AM

RE: An April Stroll (edited) - by Volaticus - 04-13-2013, 09:15 AM

RE: An April Stroll (edited) - by billy - 04-13-2013, 09:07 AM

RE: An April Stroll (edited) - by billy - 04-21-2013, 04:25 PM

RE: An April Stroll (second edit) - by billy - 04-22-2013, 07:38 AM

RE: An April Stroll (second edit) - by Volaticus - 04-23-2013, 12:29 AM

RE: An April Stroll (second edit) - by vtsai01 - 04-29-2013, 08:27 AM

RE: An April Stroll (second edit) - by Volaticus - 04-29-2013, 08:28 AM

RE: An April Stroll (second edit) - by Magpie - 05-09-2013, 08:55 AM

RE: An April Stroll (second edit) - by Volaticus - 05-09-2013, 10:43 AM

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