An April Stroll (second edit)

[Volaticus]

I got the reason for crumbling the sandwich after a second. I might take out "up" on that line though? anyway I know next to nothing about haikus and won't pretend otherwise, but I enjoyed this a lot, so thanks for sharing.

Hi cloudy,
I'm glad you enjoyed it I've also thought of taking out the "up" in that line. It seems a word too much. Thanks a lot for commenting

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FIRST EDIT
Ducks peck in the water
Paddle in slush-iced pond
I crumble up my sandwich.

What do you guys think? Did I manage do improve it or just screw it up? ;-)

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I tried to do a haiku, with an idea I got from a walk outside :-) I'm not quite sure if it's done right, though?

An April Stroll
Ducks peck in the pond
Paddle in slush-iced-water
I pour out my lunch.

not too bad, i think you can remove 'in the'
the last line is more concrete now.

Thanks About removing "in the".. "Ducks peck water" sounds a bit weird to me. Like it's the water they're interested in. But maybe that's just me I first thought of writing "ducks peck in water".