Chiromancy

Chiromancy

Heartafire Offline

Senior Member

Posts: 136
Threads: 28
Joined: Dec 2012

#32

04-19-2013, 08:55 AM

You've done a fine job with your edit. This is a powerful poem, your edits have brought clarity and depth, particularly lines 5 and 6. I am unsure of the use of the comma after sun, I am not sensing a pause there, perhaps I should be.
My best,
Heart

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Messages In This Thread

Chiromancy - by Crepuscule - 03-27-2013, 06:28 AM

RE: Chiromancy - by milo - 03-27-2013, 07:48 AM

RE: Chiromancy - by Crepuscule - 03-27-2013, 06:08 PM

RE: Chiromancy - by billy - 03-27-2013, 06:01 PM

RE: Chiromancy - by Crepuscule - 04-10-2013, 03:17 AM

RE: Chiromancy - by PoetryAndPhysics - 04-11-2013, 09:36 AM

RE: Chiromancy - by JBird - 04-11-2013, 12:45 PM

RE: Chiromancy - by milo - 04-11-2013, 12:55 PM

RE: Chiromancy - by JBird - 04-11-2013, 01:40 PM

RE: Chiromancy - by milo - 04-11-2013, 02:41 PM

RE: Chiromancy - by trueenigma - 04-11-2013, 01:36 PM

RE: Chiromancy - by Crepuscule - 04-11-2013, 03:30 PM

RE: Chiromancy - by JBird - 04-12-2013, 07:55 AM

RE: Chiromancy - by Crepuscule - 04-12-2013, 08:21 AM

RE: Chiromancy - by trueenigma - 04-11-2013, 01:53 PM

RE: Chiromancy - by JBird - 04-11-2013, 02:52 PM

RE: Chiromancy - by tectak - 04-11-2013, 04:50 PM

RE: Chiromancy - by trueenigma - 04-11-2013, 09:22 PM

RE: Chiromancy - by Crepuscule - 04-11-2013, 09:33 PM

RE: Chiromancy - by Crepuscule - 04-12-2013, 05:15 AM

RE: Chiromancy - by milo - 04-12-2013, 08:36 AM

RE: Chiromancy - by Crepuscule - 04-13-2013, 02:37 AM

RE: Chiromancy - by JBird - 04-14-2013, 09:37 PM

RE: Chiromancy - by Ganman - 04-15-2013, 05:36 AM

RE: Chiromancy - by Crepuscule - 04-15-2013, 05:56 AM

RE: Chiromancy - by Crepuscule - 04-15-2013, 05:57 PM

RE: Chiromancy - by Ganman - 04-15-2013, 06:07 PM

RE: Chiromancy - by Crepuscule - 04-15-2013, 08:17 PM

RE: Chiromancy - by milo - 04-15-2013, 08:20 PM

RE: Chiromancy - by justcloudy - 04-16-2013, 02:29 AM

RE: Chiromancy - by Crepuscule - 04-18-2013, 07:58 PM

RE: Chiromancy - by Heartafire - 04-19-2013, 08:55 AM

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