04-26-2013, 07:56 AM
Hi TOMH,
I can't express my gratitude, for you to take the time to read and comment, and doing a line by line. It is such a great help for me, thanks
As I understood it, you think that it should have a consistent rhyme scheme. And I completely agree. It will get that.
I'm not yet very good at meter/tempo, but I'll try to do better in the edit.
As far as interpretation goes, I know that with it being such a personal poem, it is way to abstract and needs some clearer images.
And to answer your questions. S1 is actually of the sexual nature. Sexual takeaway, if you will
S2 more like someone hibernating. I'll do my best to make everything clearer in the edit. And thanks for saying that I have some great things to work with. With such a dysfunctional poem, a little encouragement and help goes a long way
I can't express my gratitude, for you to take the time to read and comment, and doing a line by line. It is such a great help for me, thanks
As I understood it, you think that it should have a consistent rhyme scheme. And I completely agree. It will get that.
I'm not yet very good at meter/tempo, but I'll try to do better in the edit.
As far as interpretation goes, I know that with it being such a personal poem, it is way to abstract and needs some clearer images.
And to answer your questions. S1 is actually of the sexual nature. Sexual takeaway, if you will
S2 more like someone hibernating. I'll do my best to make everything clearer in the edit. And thanks for saying that I have some great things to work with. With such a dysfunctional poem, a little encouragement and help goes a long way