Resurrection (second edit)

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Resurrection (second edit)

Magpie Offline

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Metavariable loon, sir.

Posts: 326
Threads: 90
Joined: Apr 2013

#8

04-27-2013, 08:13 AM

It reads a lot better now as regards rhythm, but I thought that there was a lot of good imagery in the first draft that got left out in the edit.
Like the line "The perpendicular tremor." which I thought was one of the best lines, but sadly never made it to the edit.

feedback award

wae aye man ye radgie

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Messages In This Thread

Resurrection (second edit) - by Volaticus - 04-25-2013, 08:29 AM

RE: Awakening (working title) - by milo - 04-26-2013, 07:12 AM

RE: Awakening (working title) - by Keith - 04-26-2013, 07:20 AM

RE: Awakening (working title) - by Volaticus - 04-26-2013, 07:56 AM

RE: Trapped In Time (working title, first edit) - by Volaticus - 04-27-2013, 07:41 AM

RE: Trapped In Time (working title, first edit) - by newsclippings - 04-27-2013, 07:52 AM

RE: Trapped In Time (working title, first edit) - by Volaticus - 04-27-2013, 08:06 AM

RE: Trapped In Time (working title, first edit) - by Magpie - 04-27-2013, 08:13 AM

RE: Trapped In Time (working title, first edit) - by Volaticus - 04-27-2013, 08:24 AM

RE: Trapped In Time (working title, first edit) - by Magpie - 04-27-2013, 09:08 AM

RE: Trapped In Time (working title, first edit) - by Volaticus - 04-27-2013, 11:12 PM

RE: Trapped In Time (working title, first edit) - by Magpie - 04-29-2013, 02:58 AM

RE: Trapped In Time (working title, first edit) - by Volaticus - 04-29-2013, 05:42 AM

RE: Resurrection (second edit) - by Volaticus - 05-03-2013, 11:14 AM

RE: Resurrection (second edit) - by Pilgrim - 05-03-2013, 06:20 PM

RE: Resurrection (second edit) - by Volaticus - 05-03-2013, 10:54 PM

RE: Resurrection (second edit) - by Magpie - 05-04-2013, 08:48 AM

RE: Resurrection (second edit) - by Volaticus - 05-05-2013, 08:04 AM

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