Resurrection (second edit)

Resurrection (second edit)

Volaticus Offline

Short Bread

Posts: 280
Threads: 42
Joined: Mar 2013

04-27-2013, 08:24 AM

(04-27-2013, 08:13 AM)ambrosial revelation Wrote: It reads a lot better now as regards rhythm, but I thought that there was a lot of good imagery in the first draft that got left out in the edit.
Like the line "The perpendicular tremor." which I thought was one of the best lines, but sadly never made it to the edit.

Thanks for commenting Smile

I also like the line "the perpendicular tremor", but I just thought that is was too abstract, that's why I left it out. I'm obviously having trouble finding out what images are too abstract and which are not. Could I ask you if there were other images you liked/disliked? It would be a great help to me, for the next edit Smile

« Next Oldest | Next Newest »

Messages In This Thread

Resurrection (second edit) - by Volaticus - 04-25-2013, 08:29 AM

RE: Awakening (working title) - by milo - 04-26-2013, 07:12 AM

RE: Awakening (working title) - by Keith - 04-26-2013, 07:20 AM

RE: Awakening (working title) - by Volaticus - 04-26-2013, 07:56 AM

RE: Trapped In Time (working title, first edit) - by Volaticus - 04-27-2013, 07:41 AM

RE: Trapped In Time (working title, first edit) - by newsclippings - 04-27-2013, 07:52 AM

RE: Trapped In Time (working title, first edit) - by Volaticus - 04-27-2013, 08:06 AM

RE: Trapped In Time (working title, first edit) - by Magpie - 04-27-2013, 08:13 AM

RE: Trapped In Time (working title, first edit) - by Volaticus - 04-27-2013, 08:24 AM

RE: Trapped In Time (working title, first edit) - by Magpie - 04-27-2013, 09:08 AM