Resurrection (second edit)

[Magpie]

It reads a lot better now as regards rhythm, but I thought that there was a lot of good imagery in the first draft that got left out in the edit.
Like the line "The perpendicular tremor." which I thought was one of the best lines, but sadly never made it to the edit.

Thanks for commenting I also like the line "the perpendicular tremor", but I just thought that is was too abstract, that's why I left it out. I'm obviously having trouble finding out what images are too abstract and which are not. Could I ask you if there were other images you liked/disliked? It would be a great help to me, for the next edit

"In hives of familiar scent." I also thought was a good line that never made it through.
Also in the first draft, perhaps I was wrong but, the mention of "original" sin and then the mention of "The garden inscripted", I thought were biblical references. The Garden of Eden?
And considering the poems obvious reference to sex "The Garden of Eden" seemed like an appropriate image to allude to. But in the edit there is a shift away from this towards images of the sea.