King of Abuse

[Zerric]

Thanks for the thoughts Zerric! (and I'm a twin too!) But that was the first draft. I made a revision below.

Right...I didn't see that now i feel stupid...hold on...

I live through night and it’s gashes. I live through night, and its gashes, (no apostrophe, and i feel there needs to be a pause after night)
dreaming to dance on his ashes. dreaming to dance upon his ashes. (add an extra syllable to make up for the pause)
I see a guardian sweep in.
But I can’t trust my dear twin.
Mother’s wings turn me back around;
back to these corpses I have found.
And when I feel it is the end,
the king starts the cycle again.

This is much better. Its much sharper, and flows much smoother.