Feral Cat
#2
(05-10-2013, 01:51 AM)Volaticus Wrote:  
Matted, muddy tufts
Eyes piercing glass
I set my door ajar



This is only my fourth haiku. I'd love to know what you think, good or bad.
Hi Volaticus,
I didn't expect a haiku so soon. I like this one, especially the first line with the alliteration, the second line also is a strong image. I'm not so sure about the last line but I'll need to read it a few more times, I think it's the word ajar but I can definitely see the direction and as a whole it makes sense.
One more thing... I read elsewhere on this site that it is considered old fashioned to start each line with a capital unless it is a word like 'I'. Until I read that I did start each line with a capital, but have since stopped. It would interesting to hear other peoples opinion.
Thanks for the read, for only your fourth haiku it is very good indeed.
All the best.
AR
feedback award wae aye man ye radgie
Reply


Messages In This Thread
Feral Cat - by Volaticus - 05-10-2013, 01:51 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by Magpie - 05-10-2013, 02:05 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by Volaticus - 05-10-2013, 02:22 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by Heartafire - 05-10-2013, 09:09 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by Volaticus - 05-10-2013, 09:22 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by Magpie - 05-10-2013, 09:40 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by Volaticus - 05-10-2013, 10:03 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by FayandFire - 06-02-2013, 10:57 PM
RE: Feral Cat - by Volaticus - 06-03-2013, 12:36 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by serge gurkski - 06-03-2013, 05:21 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by Volaticus - 06-03-2013, 08:09 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by serge gurkski - 06-04-2013, 01:36 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by Volaticus - 06-04-2013, 10:45 PM
RE: Feral Cat - by serge gurkski - 06-05-2013, 02:49 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by Volaticus - 06-05-2013, 07:41 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by serge gurkski - 06-05-2013, 08:50 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by Volaticus - 06-05-2013, 09:27 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by serge gurkski - 06-05-2013, 09:43 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by Volaticus - 06-05-2013, 09:54 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by serge gurkski - 06-05-2013, 11:22 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by rowens - 06-05-2013, 09:38 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by Volaticus - 06-05-2013, 09:46 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by rowens - 06-05-2013, 09:53 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by rowens - 06-05-2013, 10:03 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by Brownlie - 06-05-2013, 10:06 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by Volaticus - 06-05-2013, 10:18 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by Volaticus - 06-05-2013, 10:12 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by rowens - 06-05-2013, 10:09 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by rowens - 06-05-2013, 10:18 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by rowens - 06-05-2013, 10:22 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by Volaticus - 06-05-2013, 10:30 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by rowens - 06-05-2013, 10:34 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by Volaticus - 06-05-2013, 11:33 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by serge gurkski - 06-05-2013, 11:56 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by Volaticus - 06-05-2013, 11:59 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by serge gurkski - 06-05-2013, 09:10 PM
RE: Feral Cat - by Volaticus - 06-06-2013, 12:10 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by billy - 06-06-2013, 07:34 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by Volaticus - 06-06-2013, 07:38 AM
RE: Feral Cat - by serge gurkski - 06-07-2013, 02:23 PM



Users browsing this thread: 3 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!