05-11-2013, 12:15 PM
I was so much hoping that you were setting the scene for a "simpsons moment" where just when you think you are going to have the cheesy Hollywood ending then something mental happens.
I honestly think that if you had a real crazy juxtaposition at the end of this poem that it would be good. I know that obviously is not your intention but it needs something like that. I don't mean to disrespect your poem but it needs a shot in the arm or somethin to give that element of surprise.
Cheers AR
I honestly think that if you had a real crazy juxtaposition at the end of this poem that it would be good. I know that obviously is not your intention but it needs something like that. I don't mean to disrespect your poem but it needs a shot in the arm or somethin to give that element of surprise.
Cheers AR
wae aye man ye radgie