To The Masses (edit based on Tom's corrections and some of his suggestions )

[tectak]

take 3:

I pray sweet hope, this line means nothing to me at all, other than setting up some mawkishness
because it is eternal, "hope springs eternal" - yah, heard it before
instead of love betrayed by love is not exactly a new concept
that might betray.

Don't tear down the walls cliche again, so far you haven't really given us anything to chew on
that hold you too.
But if you must,
please, do not waste
what is not yet your own. awkward phrasing

Between despair and delight abstraction, abstraction, abstraction
we tumble around.
The days steal
our lives from us.

Our lovers come and go
leaving us lonely in the end.
Politic is not soothing us either;

but I still talk America.
I talk to a beautiful nation.

You are not beautiful of yourself,
but by the basic idea
that gave birth to you.

Just dare to read Jefferson
to see what you may have become.

most of this is quite abstract, telly, and self indulgent. There really isn't anything new or interesting here, either in the phrasing or the sentiment.

Thanks for posting.

Cheers!

milo

Hi milo,
A peripheral comment. Though I have pointed out to serge, often, that he is latterly (or perhaps has always been) self-indulgent, this is at once a virtue and a crime. I avoid going down the slippery translational route as he liberally scatters banana skins behind as he descends into his own deep meditative pit! One slip, and I am down there with him trying to find a way out. So no. My only crit is based upon the "english as she is spoken" in the hopes (often proven to be the case) that repeatedly editing away the whey will leave the cream.
Best,
tectak