08-19-2013, 04:54 AM
That first stanza needs an overhall. Did you mean, 'heaven's handiwork'? 'peak highpoint'- pick one! 'Fixed to curl about us like bowed arcs' is nice, but you precede it with 'fixed' and follow it with the nonsensical, 'that the passing of dawns draws us' with an implied period. Should there be a stop here, as Maps is capped? Put in periods, because you cap some lines, but don't others. I can't tell where things start and stop. Rework this and others will read it.
My new watercolor: 'Nightmare After Christmas'/Chris