09-09-2013, 09:40 AM
Hi Rob,
Did you mean "Ruble" in S3? Or Rubble? As far as I know, the former is some country's currency. The two "deaths" should have an apostrophe after h.
I really like the mood you create with the images in the two first stanzas. I'm not sure about the line break between "deaths" and "gaze" in S3. If S4 is the realization, I'd suggest something like a colon after "realize", instead of a period.
Just a few thoughts.
Best,
Louise
Did you mean "Ruble" in S3? Or Rubble? As far as I know, the former is some country's currency. The two "deaths" should have an apostrophe after h.
I really like the mood you create with the images in the two first stanzas. I'm not sure about the line break between "deaths" and "gaze" in S3. If S4 is the realization, I'd suggest something like a colon after "realize", instead of a period.
Just a few thoughts.
Best,
Louise