09-12-2013, 09:35 PM
Hi there;
sorry to say, your poem about a poet's dilemma doesn't quite do it for me. While it is amusing, it lacks essential "enjambments" that would serve to make lines intertwine. Yours have a choppy appearance that's caused by too many end stops, such as those abundant periods at most of your line endings. What you have created is a laundry list that could be rewritten into a decent poem about a poet's struggle. Regards,
Jerry
sorry to say, your poem about a poet's dilemma doesn't quite do it for me. While it is amusing, it lacks essential "enjambments" that would serve to make lines intertwine. Yours have a choppy appearance that's caused by too many end stops, such as those abundant periods at most of your line endings. What you have created is a laundry list that could be rewritten into a decent poem about a poet's struggle. Regards,
Jerry