09-14-2013, 11:33 AM
Most here won't comment on your poems if you don't take part in other people's threads. Even when you post in this or the For Fun section. You'll get warned. I'm commenting because I'm drinking again and feel inspired.
You have a few typos, like it's instead of its. There are a few others. And the lines seem muddled because they're so wordy. You could look over the poem some more, see if you want to change anything.
You have a few typos, like it's instead of its. There are a few others. And the lines seem muddled because they're so wordy. You could look over the poem some more, see if you want to change anything.