10-10-2013, 01:18 PM
I think you've focused on trying to sound extremely poetic, and you seem to have gotten a bit lost in that. As a consequence, I've felt pretty lost in it too. I'm sure there's definitely an intended meaning (or I'd hope) but no matter how much I look at it, I can't begin to piece anything together. I think the large variety of words that you use can be recrafted into something great, though.
