Bodybuilder

[heslopian]

Version 4.0
Bodybuilder

My cousin knew a man who worked with stone Could a comma go here?
who slaved for years to master his profession.
Seeking to show his sculpted stone expressions "Sculpted" feels like a boring filler-y word to go here. Would some other adjective, like "staid", work better?
supplied him skills the world had never known. "With" should really come after "supplied him", I think, though that may just be me being pedantic.
He'd sneak away at night to work alone;
as passion slowly turned into obsession,
his search for perfect art into depression, This rhyme is a bit forced and melodramatic. It might work if you changed "perfect art" to something less obvious.
the marble was to him as flesh and bone. I like the almost Frankenstein-ian theme here. It also reminds me of "Hypnos", an H. P. Lovecraft short story about a mad sculptor inspired by his drug-fuelled dreams.
Preferring solitude the sculptor fled
and watched his work, his life, his love erode This is a really picky point, but how can he be obsessed with his work while watching it and his life erode? This line implies a static depression, not an artistic obsession.
until disheartened wife and son escaped. "Escaped" what? Is he abusing/keeping them prisoner? Neglect doesn't sound like something you "escape" from.
With crumbled spirit yearning to be dead, Great line. The contrast between spirit and stone with "crumbled" is perfect.
the beating of his graven heart then slowed Another perfect contrast with "graven".
and stopped - nothing left but empty shape. Ditto "shape".

Some really good lines here, and I like your title. It needs a bit of tightening and sways too far into confessional melodrama on occasion, but otherwise shows promise. Critique is JMHO. Thank you for the read