Whiskey Epiphany (revised)

[SirBrendan]

This is definitely a strong example of a poem getting stronger by reducing. It's looking really solid now and I'm liking plenty of the elements. Of what remains, there's really only one slight critique I can offer

And although I feel like a tree
That has been hollowed out into a canoe
I have acquired screaming spirit wisdom
from the excavated pulp of my endeavor.

--could better be--

And although I am a tree
That has been hollowed to be a canoe
I have acquired screaming spirit wisdom
from the excavated pulp of my endeavor.

--or--


And although I am a tree
That has been made a canoe ---- this might work better just because it makes the reader place in 'hollowed out' for them self. Engagement like this is good, me thinks
I have acquired screaming spirit wisdom
from the excavated pulp of my endeavor.


Like some of the other critics here, I'm not sure it needs 'feel like'.