Ink Stained Mindset

[Polar Bear]

Hi there!

For me, there is something lost by using the overused terms "lost in translation" and "starving artist." Are there not other, more unique ways of illustrating your scene?

Also, the first stanza and the latter stanzas seem starkly different in setting. I'd consider perhaps switching S2 and S1; it seemed shocking to me that the subject all the sudden was in an alleyway after digesting S1.

Thanks you for sharing, and I resonate with the emotional tone and content.

Ink black and pen posed
to etch words and scenes
onto temporary sheets
of cheap parchment.

In an alleyway with no shoes,
toes frozen and poking through
socks that frayed last year.
A starving artist with nothing to say.

It's slipping away, off the page,
an idea lost in translation.
A pen that never stopped moving
in his benumbed hands
never wrote anything new.