11-25-2013, 02:29 AM
Hey Tektack,
I've read this over a multitude of times. I think there is a monster poem hiding in here. There are some awesome individual lines that think you can manipulate and jumble around to clarify the form. I jotted down in a loose example because i didn't want to completely rewrite your poem but if you wanted me to i could elaborate with a few cut and paste verses to show you what i see in your words.
Cheers,
Chazz
Example
Along the cat-howled, dog-fouled street,
hugging rails, they crawl and creep;
grain gratified and hop happy.
I've read this over a multitude of times. I think there is a monster poem hiding in here. There are some awesome individual lines that think you can manipulate and jumble around to clarify the form. I jotted down in a loose example because i didn't want to completely rewrite your poem but if you wanted me to i could elaborate with a few cut and paste verses to show you what i see in your words.
Cheers,
Chazz
Example
Along the cat-howled, dog-fouled street,
hugging rails, they crawl and creep;
grain gratified and hop happy.