11-25-2013, 10:14 AM
Hi Chazz I just wanted to say how amazed I am at the transformation of this poem and your ability to interpret the workshop, great stuff a lesson for us all me thinks. You definitely have a keeper on your hands. I'm of to read it again. Keith
[/quote]
Hey keith,
Thanks it's just about finished i think i still have a few questions in my head but nothing that will alter it too much.
Chazz
lay a man that god ignored.
"lay a man".. really brings this home for me. Should it be lays?
Honestly I'm not sure about this at all lay/lays is a confusing issue for me.
TBH though I rather miss the yellow eyes and grey side chops image.
I think it's a toss up between the two lines both of them decribe aspects of willy but i felt 4 descriptors was too much so i chose what i felt suited the poem best.
yellow eyes and grey side chops
or
skin like tar and lobotomy scar
Hey True,
I fixed the comma as you suggested and answered a few of your questions.
Chazz
[/quote]
Hey keith,
Thanks it's just about finished i think i still have a few questions in my head but nothing that will alter it too much.
Chazz
lay a man that god ignored.
"lay a man".. really brings this home for me. Should it be lays?
Honestly I'm not sure about this at all lay/lays is a confusing issue for me.
TBH though I rather miss the yellow eyes and grey side chops image.
I think it's a toss up between the two lines both of them decribe aspects of willy but i felt 4 descriptors was too much so i chose what i felt suited the poem best.
yellow eyes and grey side chops
or
skin like tar and lobotomy scar
Hey True,
I fixed the comma as you suggested and answered a few of your questions.
Chazz