Ink Stained Mindset

[wowalexan]

Edit 3: *another posibility*[/b]
Ink black, and pen posed
to etch words and scenes-you can say to etch words and sketch scenes to add so rhyme schemes
onto cheap parchment.

In an alleyway with no shoes,
toes frozen and poking through
socks that frayed last year.
A staring artist with nothing to say.

It's slipping away, off the page,
an idea lost in translation.
A pen that never stopped moving
in his benumbed hands
never wrote anything new

Edit 2: (*these are my considered changes*)

Ink black, and pen posed
to etch words and scenes
onto temporary sheets
of cheap parchment.

In an alleyway with no shoes,
toes frozen and poking through
socks that frayed last year.
A staring artist with nothing to say.

It's slipping away, off the page,
an idea lost in translation.
A pen that never stopped moving
in his benumbed hands
never wrote anything new




[b] Edit 1: Reversed s1 and s2

In an alleyway with no shoes,
toes frozen and poking through
socks that frayed last year.
A starving artist with nothing to say.

Ink black and pen posed
to etch words and scenes
onto temporary sheets
of cheap parchment

It's slipping away, off the page,
an idea lost in translation.
A pen that never stopped moving
in his benumbed hands
never wrote anything new.





Original:
Ink black and pen posed
to etch words and scenes
onto temporary sheets
of cheap parchment.

In an alleyway with no shoes,
toes frozen and poking through
socks that frayed last year.
A starving artist with nothing to say.

It's slipping away, off the page,
an idea lost in translation.
A pen that never stopped moving
in his benumbed hands
never wrote anything new.

your poem gives so much to see in my mind its very nice to see imagery and rhymes combined[/b]