The Cremater

[hankabadpoet]

I really liked the work conceptually, the personification of the tobacco in the third stanza is nice. The last word of the second stanza is unnecessary for me ("Rapidly") it doesn't pack the punch that it feels like it needs to. Your rhyming is a problem for me in particular, it seems a bit inconsistent and "happened upon", like you wrote this in a stream of consciousness manner without regards for editing. The poem has a lightly comical, if not cynical, feeling to it and I would love for it to completely entrench itself in that mood, I think it would be more effective that way. Overall it is a really fantastic idea, and the imagery it conjures up is incredibly palpable, but it could just use a bit of reworking.
Hank.