11.

[Speaktaboo]

Ok you said you welcomed critique and I do have things to say about this one, so here you are.

She could pull a smile out of the mouth of hell.
I had never seen dead sunflowers printed on a dress. I'm having a hard time connecting this line to the one above, though I do like them both.
I watched her, Skipping moss covered stones in a dry lake; Why is "skipping" capitalized?
chasing butterflies around bodies unburied. Very nice image.
She was the last of them.
The last of us.
It had been eleven days since she'd eaten Here you write out eleven, when below you put 11 and 12. Consistency is good. If you didn't guess from the piece I have a thing for the number. Any way it's written is lovely isn't it?

A mug half filled with water on her last day she looked back on the wars. Grammar and/or punctuation is off here.
I think she was 11 or 12.
11.
Infantries and investors. This isn't a sentence. And again I'm not sure how any of this follows from what came before... I guess I write like I'm talking. The spoken word sneaks out at times. She's looking back on the wars. The list of groups are the participants of these "wars"
Doctors, scientists, the churches. This isn't a sentence.
The ones we dont see, the inbetween. This isn't a sentence. Don't needs and apostrophe and it's "in between" not "inbetween".
She was inbetween.
Now she was the only. The only what?
before she got too weak she would play and play. Need a capital letter.
She was never afraid.
Never cried.
She didnt even drink the water Full stop and apostrophe needed, but strong ending.

I'm confused at the overuse of punctuation in some places and it's lack in others.

I need to get off of lazy river. I speed through and don't edit. That's why I'm here.
Thank you. Slight rewrite may be in the works.

While I like some of the images here it's not all coming together for me. I still don't know much about "her" and really nothing about the narrator, and I'm not sure what they are or what they're doing. I think I know what they represent but I'm not sure, and anyway that's not enough.

I'd suggest a pretty drastic rewrite. Find the images in the poem, because they're the meat and they're interesting and original, so keep them and try to build something up again from there.

-justcloudy