12-20-2013, 09:20 AM
Wow! I can't believe so many people replied to this! You've all been a ton of help. Many of yours' comments has been very encouraging these past few weeks. It has always been something to fall back on when my studies kept me from feeling the poetry. I gave it some time and spent a while in consideration of this 5th edit. I feel as though I have missed a few things yet.
Ah, yes. I need to replace a semi colon with a question mark and fix a syntactical error (or two ;-) ).
Thanks again for the feedback tectak! Along with mitya, polar bear, and all the rest. To the guy who felt like this spoke to him: I'm glad I could help someone make that connection. It's humbling to know that people think about my writing *gulp*
But I have fun doing it, and helping others see there way whenever I can
on with the poetry!
p.s. Since I've only posted like 9 critiques, should I wait to post a third poem in a different subforum? Or should I give this poem another run through and repost it in an "upper subforum"?
Passionately curious,
-M.m.
edit: I posted this before I had read tectak's excellent feedback. It is oh so very much appreciated. And humbling. I see that I need to work on this before I move on to bigger and better things.
Ah, yes. I need to replace a semi colon with a question mark and fix a syntactical error (or two ;-) ).
Thanks again for the feedback tectak! Along with mitya, polar bear, and all the rest. To the guy who felt like this spoke to him: I'm glad I could help someone make that connection. It's humbling to know that people think about my writing *gulp*
But I have fun doing it, and helping others see there way whenever I can
on with the poetry!
p.s. Since I've only posted like 9 critiques, should I wait to post a third poem in a different subforum? Or should I give this poem another run through and repost it in an "upper subforum"?
Passionately curious,
-M.m.
edit: I posted this before I had read tectak's excellent feedback. It is oh so very much appreciated. And humbling. I see that I need to work on this before I move on to bigger and better things.