A girl named Lustful Sin
#4
You don't put much into the lines other than what you need to get to the next rhyme. So the lines lack depth and feel fragmented and awkwardly phrased.
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Messages In This Thread
A girl named Lustful Sin - by kingmicahde - 01-13-2014, 06:04 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by rowens - 01-13-2014, 08:17 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by kingmicahde - 01-13-2014, 08:27 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by rowens - 01-13-2014, 08:50 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by kingmicahde - 01-13-2014, 08:59 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by rowens - 01-13-2014, 09:08 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by kingmicahde - 01-13-2014, 09:31 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by milo - 01-13-2014, 09:44 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by rowens - 01-13-2014, 09:39 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by kingmicahde - 01-13-2014, 09:51 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by billy - 01-13-2014, 10:02 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by kingmicahde - 01-13-2014, 10:17 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by billy - 01-13-2014, 11:36 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by rowens - 01-13-2014, 10:58 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by kingmicahde - 01-13-2014, 11:24 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by Todd - 01-13-2014, 11:35 AM



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