A girl named Lustful Sin
#5
(01-13-2014, 08:50 AM)rowens Wrote:  You don't put much into the lines other than what you need to get to the next rhyme. So the lines lack depth and feel fragmented and awkwardly phrased.
I see. Don't care for the similes or metaphors throughout?
Have you ever lusted for someone that you don't know and only see in passing?
Reply


Messages In This Thread
A girl named Lustful Sin - by kingmicahde - 01-13-2014, 06:04 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by rowens - 01-13-2014, 08:17 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by kingmicahde - 01-13-2014, 08:27 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by rowens - 01-13-2014, 08:50 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by kingmicahde - 01-13-2014, 08:59 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by rowens - 01-13-2014, 09:08 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by kingmicahde - 01-13-2014, 09:31 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by milo - 01-13-2014, 09:44 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by rowens - 01-13-2014, 09:39 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by kingmicahde - 01-13-2014, 09:51 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by billy - 01-13-2014, 10:02 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by kingmicahde - 01-13-2014, 10:17 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by billy - 01-13-2014, 11:36 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by rowens - 01-13-2014, 10:58 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by kingmicahde - 01-13-2014, 11:24 AM
RE: A girl named Lustful Sin - by Todd - 01-13-2014, 11:35 AM



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!