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Living in Time
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01-14-2014, 07:44 AM
(12-16-2013, 12:51 PM)HalfOpenArms Wrote: A nice, if cynical, sentiment. Very enjoyable simile in S2. "He tells her loving her" threw me at first, and it distracted from the reading. "He tells her that loving her" is more readily understandable.I agree with what is said here. If you dont want to sacrifice syllables might I suggest changing: He tells her loving her should be as simple to: He says that loving her should be as simple |
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Living in Time - by 71degrees - 12-16-2013, 10:18 AM
RE: Living in Time - by HalfOpenArms - 12-16-2013, 12:51 PM
RE: Living in Time - by Blake - 01-14-2014, 07:44 AM
RE: Living in Time - by 71degrees - 12-16-2013, 11:26 PM
RE: Living in Time - by Nihil Loc - 12-17-2013, 06:25 AM
RE: Living in Time - by 71degrees - 12-17-2013, 10:19 AM
RE: Living in Time - by bena - 12-17-2013, 11:05 PM
RE: Living in Time - by 71degrees - 12-17-2013, 11:35 PM
RE: Living in Time - by bena - 12-18-2013, 11:25 PM
RE: Living in Time - by cheyrn - 01-06-2014, 08:12 AM
RE: Living in Time - by 71degrees - 01-07-2014, 12:39 AM
RE: Living in Time - by billy - 01-10-2014, 08:50 AM
RE: Living in Time - by 71degrees - 01-10-2014, 09:57 AM
RE: Living in Time - by ThePinsir - 01-17-2014, 01:28 AM
RE: Living in Time - by Blake - 01-17-2014, 02:25 AM
RE: Living in Time - by 71degrees - 01-24-2014, 08:50 AM
RE: Living in Time - by clemonz - 01-24-2014, 09:00 AM
RE: Living in Time - by EdwardStone - 01-26-2014, 04:01 AM
RE: Living in Time - by mahlbeck - 01-26-2014, 01:09 PM
RE: Living in Time - by Zainabk - 01-27-2014, 04:10 AM
RE: Living in Time - by 71degrees - 01-27-2014, 07:40 AM
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