Mind never resting

[DonMar]

Ryan, by and large, the 'ing' words work for me, though I'd suggest the simple present in a couple of places.. Here's how I interpret the poem (see below). I'd suggest 'rests' in lines 1 & 6','muddle' in line 2.

Reading through the poem again, I can hear it as a thrash metal song about alienation.

Good work.

Donna

Mind never resting, relentless unease attesting.
empty shells muddling through the streets, attention arresting. The empty shells refers to people, who attract the narrator's attention.
An Incomprehensible sight, mind digesting. The narrator observes, digests the information, which is incomprehensible to him.
Unable to understand, self detesting. The narrator detests himself and the inability to understand what he sees.
Alone in this place, no one accepting. The narrator is alone in his situation, not accepted by others.
Mind never resting, relentless unease attesting.