03-14-2014, 02:03 AM
Hello Geoff,
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my work, that alone is greatly appreciated. You are very correct, this is a performance piece and is meant to be written in a "soap-boxy" type way. I looked at the link you provided about meter and have considered its use, but for these specific lyrics the sporadic use of rhyme in the midst of thought was to mimic that of a bird in flight (i.e. fluent, soaring, choppy flaps), as the first line hints. I realize that it is difficult to keep up with and can cause distractions for most, but that is the exact tone I was attempting to captivate. When I first began writing I used the meter technique, but felt it limited the creativity one could explore with while writing poetic art. I have adapted from that to allow myself the freedom to challenge myself to break from formatting and structure to catch flight and share a bird's eye view. Thank you again for your comments, each one was greatly considered!!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my work, that alone is greatly appreciated. You are very correct, this is a performance piece and is meant to be written in a "soap-boxy" type way. I looked at the link you provided about meter and have considered its use, but for these specific lyrics the sporadic use of rhyme in the midst of thought was to mimic that of a bird in flight (i.e. fluent, soaring, choppy flaps), as the first line hints. I realize that it is difficult to keep up with and can cause distractions for most, but that is the exact tone I was attempting to captivate. When I first began writing I used the meter technique, but felt it limited the creativity one could explore with while writing poetic art. I have adapted from that to allow myself the freedom to challenge myself to break from formatting and structure to catch flight and share a bird's eye view. Thank you again for your comments, each one was greatly considered!!