Coffee Cup -edited

Coffee Cup -edited

billy Offline

Are you alluding to me?

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Joined: Dec 2009

04-16-2014, 06:49 PM

i had a problem with the last line of the latest edit.

I’m not going to wash it until we next meet.

it feels yoderish. or that next is filler for meter's sake which makes it feel forced. a suggestion would be [until we can meet] or [unless we can meet]

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Messages In This Thread

Coffee Cup -edited - by Mopkins - 04-12-2014, 01:56 PM

RE: Coffee Cup - by LV Moose - 04-14-2014, 02:31 AM

RE: Coffee Cup - by Erthona - 04-14-2014, 03:25 AM

RE: Coffee Cup - by Mopkins - 04-14-2014, 04:09 AM

RE: Coffee Cup - by Erthona - 04-14-2014, 04:18 AM

RE: Coffee Cup - by Mopkins - 04-14-2014, 04:25 AM

RE: Coffee Cup - by tectak - 04-16-2014, 06:19 PM

RE: Coffee Cup - by Mopkins - 04-16-2014, 06:33 PM

RE: Coffee Cup - by billy - 04-16-2014, 06:49 PM

RE: Coffee Cup - by Mopkins - 04-16-2014, 06:57 PM

RE: Coffee Cup - by billy - 04-16-2014, 07:12 PM

RE: Coffee Cup - by Mopkins - 04-16-2014, 07:31 PM

RE: Coffee Cup - by Mopkins - 04-16-2014, 09:44 PM

RE: Coffee Cup - by JakMak - 04-17-2014, 10:23 AM

RE: Coffee Cup - by Mopkins - 04-17-2014, 03:40 PM

RE: Coffee Cup - by ellajam - 04-17-2014, 09:14 PM

RE: Coffee Cup - by milo - 04-17-2014, 09:19 PM

RE: Coffee Cup - by Mopkins - 04-17-2014, 09:24 PM

RE: Coffee Cup -edited - by Gestalt222 - 04-23-2014, 07:50 AM

RE: Coffee Cup -edited - by Mopkins - 04-23-2014, 02:46 PM

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