"Our Saturday Special: Synaptic Serpents, Enjoy"

[AnywherebutHere]

Reading it the first time I think the spots I would do without are the lunch part, I feel like the way you talk about a snake is really interesting and then the ending sort of breaks off from that personification and dulls the poem a bit. I think you could do so much more with the description of her and make it more powerful. I felt like it ended short before creating a real impact. Overall good poem