04-23-2014, 03:55 AM 
	
	
	(02-11-2014, 05:33 AM)shenaz Wrote: O caffeine, O caffeineThe beginning is definitely repetitious but that is not necessarily a bad thing. That said, I really like the way you have switched up the last line of each quatrain and, if you can do something like that with the first lines, it might be beneficial.
Fueling my fantasies
Faithful by morn, faithful by noon
What would I do without you?
O caffeine, O caffeine
Curbing my dreams
Make me jump, make me shake
What wouldn't I do without you.
O caffeine, O caffeine
Coloring my view
Swear by you, swot by you
What would I do without you?

 

 
